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First part needs wordplay since NHL stands for National Hockey League - can mash that up with schedule being "shed skin date". The year format is tricky though (2025-26), so gotta explain why it's written like that without losing the humor vibe. Maybe compare it to fiscal years in business? For the edgy bit... they said unsettling, not scary but more off-kilter? Like how something mundane could have existential weight when you're a hockey fan. The schedule isn't alive or anything literal - needs to imply that obsessing over dates can warp reality for fans. User seems familiar with sports slang and wants absurdist takes on normal things. Probably a hockey fan who enjoys dark humor about their hobby. Should balance the ridiculousness with actual scheduling facts so it's not just silly but still useful. Gotta watch my tone - they specified "humorous but intelligent". The rhythm trick works, but need to make sure the information stays clear under the joke. Maybe structure as: literal definition + fun twist on why season starts that way → then abrupt pivot to unsettling fan implications. Okay, let's break down "NHL Schedule 2025-26"